Finding Peace
by sailor silvimoon
Summary: Set around 4x10. Damon is training Jeremy at the lake house. He has hard time dealing with the fact he'd sent Elena away. There's no Silas, or anything that happened in season 4. WARNING: character(s) death.


Title: **FINDING PEACE  
**Type: One-shot  
Pairing: Damon, Elena, Stefan, Matt, Jeremy, Rebekah, Caroline  
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Angst  
Rating: T  
Chapters: 1/1  
Status: Complete  
Summary: Set around 4x10. Damon is training Jeremy at the lake house. He has hard time dealing with the fact he'd sent Elena away. There's no Silas, or anything that happened in season 4. WARNING: character(s) death.

**AN**/ Hi guys. Here is a little treat for you. It's a small one-shot, I don't know if I'm gonna make it bigger one day, but for now this is it. I'm not quite satisfied with it, so I don't expect any reviews, but, if by any chance, you decide to review anyway, thank you.

Happy Easter to all of you!

I'm sorry if the characters are a bit OOC.

DISCLAIMER: Don't own Vampire Diaries.

* * *

Two months has passed since Damon started training Jeremy's hunter skills. And with each day, he got better and better. Beside training, all that Damon did was listening to Elena's voicemails and sitting on the shore, looking at the water, lost in thoughts. His heart was breaking bit by bit with each day that passed. It was exactly 64 days, 1536 hours and 92160 since he told Elena to leave him. The look on her face will haunt him forever…it was clear she didn't want to leave him, but because of the sire bond she had to.

He cursed the day Stefan forced him to feed for the first time, making him the monster he didn't want to be.

He cursed the day he met Katherine and fall in love with her.

He cursed every day of his undead life.

He cursed the days he had to watch Stefan getting everything, while he got nothing.

He cursed the day he had to watch his best friend, his only friend, die in his arms.

He cursed the day Elena became a vampire.

He cursed the day they found about the sire bond, even though that day was probably the best day of his life. It was the day they made love. It was the day he finally showed her how much he loved her, not only with words…no, with touches, with kisses…and he could see in her eyes she felt the same for him. And then, few hours later, everything disappeared. They found out she was sired to him. The emotions on her side weren't real. Her words; '_I love Stefan, it will always be Stefan'_ kept repeating in his mind. And for the first time in his life he wanted all to be over. He had no strength left to fight.

Why couldn't he, for once, be happy? Why couldn't he be the one that got the girl? He was tired, and all of the sudden, he couldn't take it anymore. It was too much.

He remembered one time when he told Stefan he was ok playing the role of a bad boy if that gets things done. He was used to that role. But, right now, he was fed up. He wanted someone to love him. And for the short period of time he thought he had that. He thought Elena finally realized…

Damon heard the noise around the house, but he didn't turned. He knew what was going on. Klaus sent one more newly turned vampire to them. He'd been sending them each day, for the last couple of days, and the map was almost finished. Soon, the noise vas over which meant Jeremy killed one more vampire. Listening to Elena's voice one more time, he sighed and headed toward the house.

"I think the map is almost finish." Jeremy said, voicing his thought from not a second ago. "One or two vampires more, and we can finally head home."

Damon just nodded, saying nothing. Jeremy raised his brow at Damon's strange behavior, but didn't said a word. He knew Damon would only shrug it off.

"We'll practice one more time before night." Damon said, then returned to his previous place at the shore.

/

They've been fighting for twenty minutes now, and Jeremy was certain something was wrong with Damon. And he wasn't the only one. Matt, who was watching from safe distance, had the same feeling. Damon wasn't putting much of a fight, but he was ruthlessly taunting Jeremy. _'It was as he wanted for Jer to kill him.'_ As soon as that thought crossed his mind, he dismissed it. _'It was Damon after all. The man loved to be an ass.'_ However, that thought proved to be the right one, because not a minute later, Matt heard Jeremy's frantic voice.

"Damon? Damon? Oh, God, what have I done?"

Matt rushed toward the fighting duo only to stop dead in his track. It was clear as a day that Damon was dead, stake sticking out from his body.

"Jer? What the hell happen?"

"I don't know. From the start, he was acting strange, you've heard him yourself, right? Hell, he was strange all day! It was as if he wasn't even trying to dodge me! Then, just now, he looked me and whispered; 'Tell Elena I love her with all my heart, clasped his hands around mine and pushed toward his heart.'"

"You mean he wanted to die?" Matt asked, pure shock on his face.

"Yes." Jeremy whispered. "God, what am I gonna say to Elena? Or Stefan?"

"The truth. Like you've told me. Come, lets carry him into the car."

When they returned to the house, they found Damon's letter, addressed to Elena.

"Oh, my God! He really wanted to die." Jeremy said, holding the letter in his shaking hands. He couldn't erase the look in Damon's eyes when the stake went through. His blue eyes were clear as the sky on a sunny day. He'd found his peace. But, he could also see the pain. Then a single tear fell, and he closed his eyes forever.

"Jer?" Matt's voice broke through his heartbreaking thinking. "The map. I think it's finished."

And so it was. The last missing piece was now visible for both of them to see. And that fact only added more grief to Jeremy. Damon knew. He'd sacrificed himself so that Elena could have the cure.

/

Jeremy and Matt walked into the Boarding house with heavy hearts. They weren't very surprised seeing Caroline Stefan and Elena there, even though it was around three in the morning. No, the surprise was on the vampires sitting in the den.

"Jer? Matt? What are you guys doing here? And where's Damon?" Elena asked, quickly recovering from the shock. She hasn't seen her brother for two months, and she missed him a lot. However she could also see how tired and sad they were. And that they refused looking her in the eyes. An uneasy feeling entered her heart, and a second later, she noticed they didn't answered any of her questions. Hesitantly, and now worried, she asked again. "Jer? Where is Damon? Why didn't he came with you?"

Elena could see the pain in her brother's eyes when he finally looked at her, and she felt dread. She was feeling uneasy all day, like something bad was going to happen.

"I'm so sorry Elena, Stefan…but Damon…Damon is…" Jeremy couldn't finish. He saw the understanding on Stefan's face, and then in his eyes. He knew.

"He is what?" Elena asked hysterically.

"Elena…" Stefan tried, but she pushed him away.

"Will someone tell me where is Damon!"

"He is dead." Matt decided to be the one breaking the news.

"No!" Elena shock her head. "No! you are lying! He cant be! What happened?"

Hearing the whole story from both Matt and Jeremy, Elena started to cry. Her heart was breaking. She felt guilty for pushing him all this time, for not being strong enough admitting her true feelings toward the blue-eyed vampire sooner. She felt responsible for pushing him into his death. It was too much! She felt she would suffocate in this room. She had to get away from here.

"He left a letter for you, Elena." Jeremy said, handing her the envelope.

Elena looked at the white envelope as if it was some strange item she'd never saw before. But, eventually, she took it, and using her vampire speed, she was gone the next second.

Stefan moved to stand near the window, needing some time for himself. His brother was dead. He was alone. Even though he said he hated him, he was still his brother, the only family he had. He hoped Damon found his peace. Tears were falling down his face, as he mourned his brother. Taking a deep breath, wiping the tears away, he turned and said to Jeremy.

"I'm gonna put his body into our family tomb."

It was harder then he thought…picking up his brother's lifeless body from the back of Jeremy's truck. Fresh tears started to fall when a thought occurred. He would never again see his smile, he would never again hear his voice, never again roll his eyes at his brother cockiness…

"Why brother? Why did you feel you had to die?" He whispered, gently caressing Damon's hair. "I really hope you've found your peace." He added, putting the body in their family tomb. "Maybe I'll join you soon."

/

"You think she's gonna be ok?" Matt asked Caroline, and the blonde shaked her head.

She could hear heartbreaking sobs from upstairs, and knew her friend was hurting like never before, since her emotions were now heightened. Her heart was breaking hearing her friend cry like that. Even though she didn't liked Damon, she didn't want him dead either. And she knew Stefan, who just lost his only brother, was hurting too. When Matt and Jeremy told their story about how Damon died, she felt tears in her eyes. That was the selfless thing anyone had ever done. And Damon did it for Elena.

/

Elena found herself in Damon's room. Their room, as she called it recently. Ever since she got back, after Damon sent her away, she was sleeping in his bed. First two weeks, she refused even getting out of the room. She explored every part of it. Finding his journals, she read them all. Although she knew that was wrong, she couldn't help herself. And while reading them she realized how wrong she was about him. That the monster, she first thought he was, was just a façade, a mask he wore. And reading his journals, she got to know the real Damon.

She cried herself to sleep every night, after reading, and finally realizing how much he loved her. It was evident in every page of his diaries. She felt the pain every time she rejected him, every time she denied she had feelings for him, every time she would say she loves Stefan. It was always Stefan. God, she hated herself now. She actually felt his pain reading his thoughts when Alaric, his best friend, was dying, both times. She never knew he died in his arms after the phone call when she told him she was returning back to Mystic Falls. She remembered how his voice sounded. _'To Stefan. It will always be Stefan.' _Broken. As if his whole life crashed. And in the minutes that followed, it did. If only she wasn't so week back then, maybe everything would end up differently.

And now, she had to read one more chapter of his life. His last words…

She wiped the tears of her eyes so she could see the words, then took a deep breath, preparing for, she was positive, would break her heart completely.

_My dearest Elena._

_My life was hell until I met you. I'm sorry for treating you the way I did. For killing your brother, for always doing the wrong things…_

_In my mind, I did them so you can live, so you could have the life I once wanted. But, I can't change who I am. I'm reckless, I do things before thinking them through, and sometimes, I hurt people around me. I lash out when I'm hurt, and in the same time, I don't want to admit I'm hurt. I always thought I would appear week, showing my emotions…_

_The last two months, since I've been here, I took a good look at myself, and I didn't like what I saw. Just listening your voice, your voicemails, game me the strength to live through the day. You'll never knowhow much it hurt sending you away, but I had to. With you, my heart left too. You need the cure, and I want, no, I need to be the one who will give it to you. _

_I love you. I love you so much it hurts. I love you more than Katherine, back then. And because I love you, I can't be selfish. You deserve more, and better, than this monster, who, if we stayed together, will probably do something to hurt you. And I can't take that chance. I know you said you love me back, I've listened your voicemails, repeatedly. I know Rebekah compelled you to say it aloud, but part of me would always wonder is it because you are sired to me, or you actually feel the love. Too many times I've heard 'I love Stefan. It will always going to be Stefan', and I can't force myself to feel hope again. It's just who I am, I can't change how I feel._

_I wish you all the happiness in the world. You deserve it. _

_I hope I'll find the peace I need. Tell my brother I love him, although I doubt he'll believe you. Too much bad history is between us…. In the end, I'm doing this for him too. Because I'm sure you two will be together again. And with me gone, he should be happy. That is what he always wanted. Me out of his life…_

_Don't ever forget… I love you and I'll always will._

_Damon_

Elena reread the letter and cried even harder. Her heart was breaking. He hugged the pillow that still held Damon's scent on. She felt she was drowning in all emotions that whirled inside her. she felt pain for losing him, grief, despair, hate… Yes, she hated herself for not fighting for him, for not acknowledging she had feelings for him sooner, she hated him for giving up before she could show him she really loved him. And guilt, because she was the one who drove him to the point he wanted to die. She might as well stake him herself.

Elena cringed when she felt arms around her. She didn't even realized Stefan entered the room. They stayed that way for a long time. Stefan hugging her, and her hugging Damon's pillow. In silence that surrounded them.

Eventually, Elena lost the ability to cry, and she fell asleep. Stefan covered her up, and then stood up. His eyes fell on the letter and, after a moment, he picked it up and read it. He needed to know what was on his brother's mind in his last moments. Another set of tears fell when he read the part he was mentioned in. Damon died not knowing how wrong he was. Because, Stefan loved him. He loved his older brother. No matter how hard they fought, during the years, he still loved him. He blamed himself for pushing his brother away. Pushing him toward his death. The guilt and the pain were overwhelming, and he run from Damon's room.

/

Few days later, Caroline, Stefan, Elena and Jeremy found themselves on a small island in Nova Scotia. The map on Jeremy's body showed them the way to a hidden cave entrance where the cure was. As soon as they found it, the tattoo on Jeremy's body was gone. The cure was actually an underground river deep under the surface.

Elena drank it, and soon she passed out. Few agonizing hours later, Caroline and Stefan could hear another heartbeat, and Elena opened her eyes. Instead of happiness, she felt hollow and numb. And she still loved Damon. All feelings she had, remained the same. She returned the hug Jeremy gave her, then walked away, needing some time alone.

Stefan and Caroline decided taking the cure with them and they filled it in a few bottles they had with them. Then they went after Elena. They haven't yet decided whether they'll take the cure or not. But having it as an option was a good thing. They found Elena sitting on the rock, deep in her thoughts, Jeremy by her side. No one said a word. However, Jeremy felt some kind uneasiness looking at his sister. He knew how much Damon meant to her, even before she became a vampire.

"I still love him." Elena spoke for the first time since they found out about Damon's death.

Stefan's heart broke hearing how emotionless Elena sounded. He suspected it, so he didn't say anything. Caroline wanted to say something, but Stefan shaked his head in warning.

"And I'm not going to let Klaus create more hybrids."

"What are you saying, Elena?" Jeremy asked, even though he knew.

"I'm saying the line dies with me. I'm saying I should've died with our parents in that crash!"

"Elena! You can't mean…" Caroline asked appalled, suddenly realizing what her friend wanted to do.

"It's that or be a vampire!" Elena snapped. "And without Damon, I don't want to be one!"

"Elena…" Jeremy pleaded, but he could see she already made her decision.

"Stefan? Say something!" Caroline said.

"It's her decision. And I'll always respect it."

"When?" Jeremy asked, chocking on his tears.

"Today or tomorrow. Before Klaus finds out I'm human again. And I want to say goodbye to Bonnie."

"Tomorrow then. I want to spend one more day with you." Jeremy agreed.

"You are all insane!" Caroline screamed. "How can you sit there so calmly and talk about your suicide? After everything we've been through, after everyone who died giving their lives for you?"

"Caroline. Please understand. I don't want to be a blood bag to Klaus for the rest of my life, or run away from him. This is my choice, my decision. Please respect that." Elena pleaded her friend.

Caroline huffed, the left, saying she is an idiot. Stefan went after her, giving Elena and Jeremy some time alone.

"Please say you understand." Elena whispered.

"I do." He sighed. "I don't like it, but I do respect your decision."

"You'll probably see me as a ghost. I'll haunt you if you start using drugs again." She warned him, chuckling.

"Yeah, and I suspect Damon will haunt me for letting you doing this. Great. I'll never be alone!" Jeremy grumbled.

"I'll keep him occupied on the other side." Elena grinned, already picturing Damon's face.

"I love you. You know that? I know you're not my sister by blood, but in my heart, you were, are and always be." Jeremy said seriously.

"I know. I feel the same. I love you, Jer."

/

On her way to Mystic Falls, Elena called Bonnie, with the news, although Caroline already informed the witch, hoping she would be on her side. But, she was wrong. Bonnie understood and respected Elena's decision.

Everyone gathered in the Gilbert household. Bonnie, Jeremy, Matt, Tyler, Stefan, Elena and, at first reluctantly, Caroline. They had great time, although the thought how this is actually a goodbye party was very much present.

Elena drank whole bottle of sleeping pills, wanting her death to be a peace one. She hugged every one of her friends, leaving Stefan and Jeremy last.

"Tell my brother I love him." Stefan whispered, and she nodded.

Soon, it was done. Lying on her bed, she took her last breath.

"It's done. She is gone." Stefan said, sitting with the rest of the group in the living room, listening Elena's heartbeat got slower, until it finally stopped.

The arrangements for the funeral were made and she was buried near her parents, as she was supposed to, few years back.

/

Klaus was walking through the park when he saw familiar blonde sitting on the bench.

"I've heard you found the cure. So where is my precious doppelganger?" He was surprised seeing so much hate in her lovely eyes.

"You know what, Klaus? I was willing to give you the benefit of the doubt, but you just had to ruin it! I hate you! Because of you, my best friend is dead!"

"Dead? What are you talking about?" Klaus asked in shock. He was away from town only for few days. _'What in the world happened while he was gone?'_

"She killed herself! Because she didn't want to be your blood bag for the rest of her life." Caroline angrily stood up, and before storming away added. "Leave Mystic Falls. There's nothing for you here. Leave us the hell alone!"

Before Klaus could say a word, she was gone. For the first time in his life, he hated himself. He'd lost the last chance to be happy. Because he knew Caroline would never forgive him.

/

"You called?" Rebekah asked, entering the Boarding House.

"I remember you once told me you want the cure and why, so here it is." Stefan said, giving her one small bottle.

Rebekah looked at the bottle skeptically. She was confused. _'Why would he give her the cure after everything. What if that was some kind of a trap.'_

Stefan must have read her thoughts. "It's genuine. It worked. I've seen it."

"I want the whole story. Where did you get it and how?"

Stefan sighed and told her everything. How Damon died, how they got the cure, how Elena took it, and her decision after. She noticed he didn't tell her the location, but didn't comment. Hearing the whole story, it was an understatement to say she was shocked. She never thought Damon was capable of doing something selfless like that. However, she understood Elena's choice.

"How are you feeling?" She asked gently.

"I miss my brother. I can't imagine my life without him. And I guess I feel lost."

"And Elena?" She asked, then mentally kicked herself.

"I admit I love her, but for the last couple of months that love turned into care. Brother's rivalry and all that. After everything that happened I must admit Damon loved Elena more then I did."

"So what do you plan to do now?"

"I don't know." Stefan sighed.

Seeing him so lost, Rebekah decided risking it all. "Will you take the cure with me?"

"What?" Stefan's eyes widened. He wasn't expecting that.

"I still have feelings for you, and if you want…"

"You mean it?" Stefan asked, suddenly feeling hope.

"Look, if you don't want to be with me, I'll understand, but once, long time ago, you had feelings for me too. Maybe those feelings are still there. I'd like to try if you want."

Stefan looked at the woman standing in front of him and found himself smiling for the first time in a long time.

"I want to." He said, after a long moment, then grinned. "Although, we don't necessary have to take the cure right away. We have time."

Rebekah was shocked for the second time today. The only thing she was able to do was a small nod and a smile.

/

Years passed. Jeremy and Bonnie got married. Caroline and Tyler too. Stefan and Rebekah traveled around the world, exploring it together, enjoying their life, and their love grew stronger every day that passed. They were invited on both weddings, births of little Gilbert's and their weddings. Damon and Elena appeared from time to time, although only Jeremy could see them. However, Stefan could feel his brother's presence. And in time like those, he felt calm, feeling Damon's approval. And that meant the world to him.

From time to time, Stefan and Rebekah, Caroline and Tyler, sometimes even Elijah, met to spend time together. They still weren't ready to take the cure. They had time. Klaus was nowhere to be seen or heard, and they were happy.

Everyone had found their peace, and that was all that mattered.

* * *

**AN/** This is it. Hope you like it. Now I can focus on my other stories. Happy Easter to all!


End file.
